i guess that bluescreen a couple weeks ago was legit. Maybe I dropped my computer, maybe I didn't, but reinstalls of all the programs aren't working, so, I mean, everyone knows I get to do my favorite thing. REINSTALL, YAAAAAY!!! I never trust that damn reinstall partition, newfangled user-friendly crap like that belongs in a Mac.

I DON'T CARE IF YOU'VE NEVER HAD A PROBLEM WITH YOUR MAC.

I heart PCs like nobody's business. The fact that I can dictate whatever I want to Dell is pretty cool, too. Tweaking and running everything on the planet and upmodding, man... and then when something goes wrong, I get to fix it. omfg seriously, it's so fun. No sarcasm. As long as I don't lose actual data (re: that one time I ignored a blue screen error for like 5 months and lost all my music, and I had a year-old backup of the collection), I'm actually more than happy to reinstall. I'd compare the feeling to buying a brand new spiral-bound notebook. No pages wrinkled, ripped out, smudged -- 100% clean slate, and you know for a fact, cause you did it yourself. Plus this always inspires me to clean up my "Sarah is Disorganized" folder. I really do have a folder with that exact name because it's true.

Also, it is a weekend -- so while I'm catching up on all my reading, I can blissfully comply with installation prompts.

I got 99 problems but a tech support issue's not one.

"The lights are red, but I'm gonna keep dancing..."

I love this president.

It's like we went from a 14-year-old tercel to a brand new benz.

In other news, my mind has apparently shut off. I raised my hand in my 2:00 class about half a dozen times today, with a distinct thought, and I forgot it immediately. And when I do manage to get some idea out of my head, I can't grasp the words in order to express myself the way I have in the past. It's like my vocabulary was cut in half, and I sound like a retarded kid, but with relevant questions to ask a professor -- just not very eloquently.

It makes me feel like a stroke patient. I've watched my grandfather deteriorate over the years due to small strokes, and seeing this once really regal, vivacious, eloquent man fight to get out a sentence kills me. He knows exactly what he wants to express, but there's a disconnect, and he just can't put it together.

It's getting worse, particularly over the last few months. I get confused and distracted, and I'm still procrastinating and avoiding shit and have zero motivation for most things.

It's been especially odd since school started. I pick up the DTH every day I get on campus, four days a week, and the simplest Sudoku or crossword just kills me. I had to write the numbers in for a level 1 Sudoku the other day, and I just know something's not right. I'm a Sudoku master, I can pop those things out like Pringles. I finish them probably 95% of the time, and I still haven't finished a single one. The crosswords are worse. I know that I know the answer to a clue, or I might have a really strong "sense" of what it is (in that I know it, but I can't find the word), but nothing comes. They end up mostly blank, which is irritating. The Sudoku was always this little challenge I had every day that I'd easily be able to finish, and the crossword gave me the opportunity to flex my vocab and relax a little... and now everything's different.

On top of all this, I'm having problems even typing now. I hit the wrong keys all the time, which is totally out of character for me. I've been typing very quickly and very accurately since I was like, 10.

Overall, I am confused and concerned.

To end on a positive, Mark and I are going to look at a house tomorrow. Which we may *buy*. It feels so empowering, and I'm really, really, way too excited about it. And in that, I got Mark all excited... so hopefully we can keep ourselves in check when we're with the realtor.

good news: did not die in a black hole last night.
bad news: still have to take latin test
other news: i have three doctors appointments today: 12:10-1, 1-2, 2:45-4
more good news: theresa is coming with me to sr. bar night at the library (because i missed he's not)

and i think dell is supposed to be dropping off my new laptop today. and that requires a signature. which is really, really lame.

So I sent Dell an e-mail where I basically threatened them with a loss of about $100,000 worth of business.

They're sending me a new computer.

yeeeep.

Oh, also, Dell? Yeah. Telling me that I have the same problem I told you I had two weeks ago, and then telling me you don't know how to fix it, and giving me a pity 12-mo extension of my warranty? Not going to fly. Not as long as my gfx dies every time I try to open Firefox, and then I just have an expensive strobe light. Seriously? If I were epileptic, you'd be so fucked.

DUDE.
The tech that Dell sent over to replace my display (hopefully that'll work) is a Magistrate for Durham. WHICH IS SO COOL. We like, talked criminal justice and veteran support and OMG IT WAS SO AWESOME.

He gave me his card, which means I have like, VIP access to the Durham court system to see how it works and whatnot. I AM EXCITED, THIS IS NEAT.

Now I'm going to take a nap.

Damn it. I don't know who to blame -- NVIDIA or Dell. But ONE OF THEM IS CAUSING ME PROBLEMS.

Computer doesn't respond to "Ah - no - don't even think about starting this," "Goddammit don't do this shit again," "WTF, I JUST REBOOTED YOU!!!" etc etc etc.

Dell blamed NVIDIA and had me install a BIOS revision that just turned my expensive strobe light into a display that flickers once and then reverts to what I am lovingly calling "the black screen of death." Its tolerance level seems even lower than before. "Uhhhh, you want to open a web browser? -- no, fuck that shit." Then, "HOLY CHRIST, A JPEG??? WHAT DO I DO?!?" Now, I'm pretty sure it's just at "HOW TO DO CURSOR MOVE ON SCREEN? OH NOES!1!!1!!"

Though the BIOS did, indeed, have some effect, I'm not sure that was exactly positive.

Safe mode wouldn't be so bad if I could like... save things. And have audio. It's like safe mode is a total cockblock for everything fun.

No, I'm totally not frustrated by this.


AHHH I JUST SAW SKELETOR ON THE WEATHER CHANNEL

oh jk it was just Michael Chertoff:




AHHHH!

Advice to the Security Czar: grow that beard back.






Okay, ew, too much Bush administration ITT.

I LIED! While something/one fucked with my Facebook account (general Facebook security?), it's MY HEATSINK! I think. Maybe.
I wrote a really long e-mail to Dell about it, because actually explaining technical problems to technical support in technical terms IN REAL TIME is just -- oh my god it's horrible. So I basically wrote what might as well have been a manifesto based on my complete lack of faith in ear-to-ear or IM-to-IM conversation with an actual person with issues as important as my fucked up gfx.

ANYWAY. This is absolutely essential, and if for some absurd reason you don't want to listen to 4 minutes and 42 seconds of pure gold, here are my favorite parts:

http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=183521&title=john-mccain-chooses-a-running

0:46 - 1:06 -- Why Sarah Palin?
1:39 - 2:27 -- I want to ruin the punchline so bad but basically this is one of my favorite Daily Show moments EVER.
2:27 - 2:52 -- What is are to be VP?
Samantha Bee has the last part of the segment -- and if you have a vagina and love your vagina, I suggest you watch this.

for the first time in my life, my compy's got a virus. and a shitty one. and i am going to have to backup and reinstall SUPER FRESH because it's fucked with my drivers and got access to my passwords, which is excellent and super stupid.
i don't even know what the thing is, but i have a suspicion it's probably from that 3rd party application i downloaded to sync up an app for my iPhone with Microsoft Outlook. I SHOULD KNOW BETTER. WHO AM I??

i should also not be so brazen as to assume that my antivirus program is something that's simply taking up memory (and thus ending its process or just abandoning it altogether).

so i'm in safe mode.
i suck.

goddammit.

(also plz let me know if "i" sent you a message or did something funny on facebook, which is where i've gotten my security alert)