TWO THINGS

1) Something inside me is bleeding again, and over the past 24 hours I've gotten paler and paler and generally more exhausted. It's weird this time, it started with a horrible headache which has not gone away. And then abdomnial pain, as per usual. I think this entire issue can be chalked up to how liberal I am. (get it, get it, bleeding heart liberal, get it)

2) I spent almost the entire day today watching episodes of America's Best Dance Crew on my lappy. I have no idea why I care or even how I got there.

3) Chad sent in the appraisal. We were under contract for our second offer, which was 112k. Bank appraised the house for -- wait for it -- 112k. Which means,

I love this president.

It's like we went from a 14-year-old tercel to a brand new benz.

In other news, my mind has apparently shut off. I raised my hand in my 2:00 class about half a dozen times today, with a distinct thought, and I forgot it immediately. And when I do manage to get some idea out of my head, I can't grasp the words in order to express myself the way I have in the past. It's like my vocabulary was cut in half, and I sound like a retarded kid, but with relevant questions to ask a professor -- just not very eloquently.

It makes me feel like a stroke patient. I've watched my grandfather deteriorate over the years due to small strokes, and seeing this once really regal, vivacious, eloquent man fight to get out a sentence kills me. He knows exactly what he wants to express, but there's a disconnect, and he just can't put it together.

It's getting worse, particularly over the last few months. I get confused and distracted, and I'm still procrastinating and avoiding shit and have zero motivation for most things.

It's been especially odd since school started. I pick up the DTH every day I get on campus, four days a week, and the simplest Sudoku or crossword just kills me. I had to write the numbers in for a level 1 Sudoku the other day, and I just know something's not right. I'm a Sudoku master, I can pop those things out like Pringles. I finish them probably 95% of the time, and I still haven't finished a single one. The crosswords are worse. I know that I know the answer to a clue, or I might have a really strong "sense" of what it is (in that I know it, but I can't find the word), but nothing comes. They end up mostly blank, which is irritating. The Sudoku was always this little challenge I had every day that I'd easily be able to finish, and the crossword gave me the opportunity to flex my vocab and relax a little... and now everything's different.

On top of all this, I'm having problems even typing now. I hit the wrong keys all the time, which is totally out of character for me. I've been typing very quickly and very accurately since I was like, 10.

Overall, I am confused and concerned.

To end on a positive, Mark and I are going to look at a house tomorrow. Which we may *buy*. It feels so empowering, and I'm really, really, way too excited about it. And in that, I got Mark all excited... so hopefully we can keep ourselves in check when we're with the realtor.

I am really, really excited about the rest of my life.

The past three days, Mark has been an absolute saint and has put up with me dragging him to my family's two Thanksgivings; one at my parents' and one in Surf City (Friday night). My dad built a house for my favorite cousin and my grandmother/aunt/uncle/niece out there, and one next to it waiting for tenants, so it's just big and empty, so Mark and I stayed in one of the upstairs bedrooms on an air mattress for the night. We were laying there talking, and we've joked in the past about Mark proposing to me with a bread tie or something for sort of ridiculous reasons, and that continued a little before we went to bed.

We got home this afternoon and watched Red Dawn (yes, that Red Dawn) with Alex. He went upstairs to get something. At about 5 PM yesterday as we were laying on the couch together, Mark held up a bread tie wrapped into a circle, and asked, "one day, when I can afford a ring, will you marry me?"

I asked him to phrase it a little better, a little more in the present, and I now have a bread tie on my left ring finger and we are engaged.

I would have posted this earlier, but we were just waiting for his dad to call him back so all the immediate family knew before the internet knew. :)

I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!