I just got the neatest Nigerian scam letter. It was a short notice with an attached PDF and actually had my name in everything. Unfortunately, the only Edward Blake I know I'm related to died in 1424 in Renvyle, Galway, Ireland. And he was a teacher -- not a modern-day contractor/oil tycoon/doctor who died in after a "brief illness" in Nigeria.

How many oil tycoons hold a doctorate, anyway? Come on, Nigerian scammers. Another problem was the 20% service fee they were requesting before I got my "inheritance." As if I will ever have $6.4 million to pay BEFORE I get the rest of my $32 million from some dude to whom, they admit, I may not actually be related. Points for professionalism, but unless we're talking Zimbabwe dollars (Z $120,253.00 = US $1.00 or Z $6.4 mil = US $55.22) -- and that's only if I think I'll get the $212.88 remainer FOR SURE.

In other news, I've spent the last couple days moving really small necessities over to the house, and put my horse tranquilizers in the medicine cabinet prematurely -- so I have no idea when I'm going to sleep tonight.




Also, if I lived in Zimbabwe, I'd be a billionaire.

i guess that bluescreen a couple weeks ago was legit. Maybe I dropped my computer, maybe I didn't, but reinstalls of all the programs aren't working, so, I mean, everyone knows I get to do my favorite thing. REINSTALL, YAAAAAY!!! I never trust that damn reinstall partition, newfangled user-friendly crap like that belongs in a Mac.

I DON'T CARE IF YOU'VE NEVER HAD A PROBLEM WITH YOUR MAC.

I heart PCs like nobody's business. The fact that I can dictate whatever I want to Dell is pretty cool, too. Tweaking and running everything on the planet and upmodding, man... and then when something goes wrong, I get to fix it. omfg seriously, it's so fun. No sarcasm. As long as I don't lose actual data (re: that one time I ignored a blue screen error for like 5 months and lost all my music, and I had a year-old backup of the collection), I'm actually more than happy to reinstall. I'd compare the feeling to buying a brand new spiral-bound notebook. No pages wrinkled, ripped out, smudged -- 100% clean slate, and you know for a fact, cause you did it yourself. Plus this always inspires me to clean up my "Sarah is Disorganized" folder. I really do have a folder with that exact name because it's true.

Also, it is a weekend -- so while I'm catching up on all my reading, I can blissfully comply with installation prompts.

I got 99 problems but a tech support issue's not one.

"The lights are red, but I'm gonna keep dancing..."

You are in a mall when zombies attack. You have:
1. One weapon
2. One song blasting on the speakers
3. One famous person to fight along side you.

1. Zombie bat (already have one in our coat closet)
2. Europe - "The Final Countdown"
3. Will Smith, or alternatively Keanu Reeves (close to Mark)

http://www.popcrunch.com/this-guy-loves-apostrophes-almost-as-much-as-he-loves-jesus/

Mark (in jest): "Yeah, I'm definitely all of that first column"
(I question a few of them, which he starts eliminating)
"You're a wifebeater?"
"No."
"Who's your wife? I need to know about this."
"You don't have to worry about it, I already beat her to death."
"..."


Also, I passed out for no reason a little while ago and hit my head on the kitchen floor and it hurts. I think I need to eat, or drink, or go to the doctor or something.
Yeah, need to call my doctor tomorrow.

I LIED! While something/one fucked with my Facebook account (general Facebook security?), it's MY HEATSINK! I think. Maybe.
I wrote a really long e-mail to Dell about it, because actually explaining technical problems to technical support in technical terms IN REAL TIME is just -- oh my god it's horrible. So I basically wrote what might as well have been a manifesto based on my complete lack of faith in ear-to-ear or IM-to-IM conversation with an actual person with issues as important as my fucked up gfx.

ANYWAY. This is absolutely essential, and if for some absurd reason you don't want to listen to 4 minutes and 42 seconds of pure gold, here are my favorite parts:

http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=183521&title=john-mccain-chooses-a-running

0:46 - 1:06 -- Why Sarah Palin?
1:39 - 2:27 -- I want to ruin the punchline so bad but basically this is one of my favorite Daily Show moments EVER.
2:27 - 2:52 -- What is are to be VP?
Samantha Bee has the last part of the segment -- and if you have a vagina and love your vagina, I suggest you watch this.

i need to buy textbooks, i need to clear up this stupid issue with the damn rent check, i need to figure out how the hell to sleep.

on the PLUS side:
- Mark made me sushi
- Mark brought me flowers
- Mark brought me chocolate
- I found the best... thing... ever. I don't know how, but I have him, and that's it.
- In addition, I GOT THE BEST CARD EVER. Megan Derocher, I LOVE YOU, HOLY SHIT. Card is on the mantle, and it is the funniest thing the postal service ever brought me. <33333333

and, let's see...
they played that commercial again that makes me laugh like a retard.

bugh sleep.

Provigil why are you being dumb and why am I sleepy?

In a day and a half I will be a grown-up, or something. Personally, I will consider myself a grown-up when I am 25 and can rent a car. I could also be a US Rep.

Then I will change Grown-Up Age to when I can be a Senator, at 30.

And after that, I will change it to 35, when I can be President (but seriously I would never want that job, bitches be crazy).

PARTY TOMORROW NIGHT, though. PUUUUUMMMMPPPPPEDDDD.

MUSCLE MILK!! HGH!!! PPROTIEENNNNN!! POWER BAAAARRRSS!!! JAGER BOMBS! JAGER BOMBS! JAGER BOMBS!