2-4 inches of snow, cross your fingers

I'm hoping that because tomorrow is also an INCREDIBLY HISTORIC PRESIDENTIAL INAUGURATION maybe, MAYBE that might be enough for UNC to say -- "okay, there are enough compounding factors here to cancel class..."

But that's incredibly unlikely.

We had a light ice storm at the end of my first semester at UNC, and Alyssa and I had to hold on to each other to keep from slipping on the sidewalk and breaking our backs on the way to our exams one day. It was pretty much the closest I've ever come to actually ice-skating.

Ehhh. Reading time.

I've been having a lot of weird dreams. Two nights ago, they were all kind of warm and fuzzy nice dreams (even if they didn't make any sense). Last night (and, consequentially, most of today) was mostly nightmares. My dad died in one, someone was trying to hurt Mark and I was trying to protect him in another, and the one I remember most is one in which, somehow, I was shot in the chest and died, I guess.

I mean, how often do you have dreams like that? When I was younger, I had your typical "falling dream," and I knew I was going to hit the ground, but everything always went to black and I knew I "died" -- but I never felt anything. I remember a dream when I was about 10, though, in which I was actually aware that I was dying, and I actually felt pain. Last night's dream was a lot like that -- like, I knew what happened to me, there was a sharp pain in my chest, I couldn't breathe anymore, and I actually thought to myself "oh, so this is what it's going to feel like to die by getting shot in the chest." Kind of sick.

Also, I smell like baby powder and I don't know why.

That's... pretty much it.

I was looking back at other entries I made in September of previous years.

I don't really know how to describe it. I'm proud of who I was. I was messed up and I made huge mistakes, but christ, I was in living. I was living with every single ounce of my soul.

And now I'm scared that every year I grow older is going to take that away from me.

edit: and just for everyone's benefit (first of all, ECK TURNS 21 ON MONDAY HOLY CRAP), I found this post about her surpise party in 2003.

So, seven years ago, I was sitting in a biology classroom with two other classes crammed in with us, watching a battery-powered TV. The world had changed, for us, an hour and 20 minutes beforehand.

I don't have much to say about today, at least right now. Over the last seven years, this day has become so much less about what actually happened and so much more of a political talking point -- empty, and only used to cause anxiety and fear.

Unfortunately, we have not had the leadership over the last seven years to appropriately protect us, calm us, and speak honestly with us. I don't think this is a unique sentiment. And I reserve my right to be upset over this. I was a freshman in high school on 9/11. My class, in particular, became personally and politically aware completely in an era which was shaped by those attacks. But I was too young to vote in either the 2000 or 2004 elections, though by 2004 I knew where I would lend my support. This year, I will fill in what I believe to be the most important bubble sheet of my life.

So the only thing I really have right now is a quote from a much greater leader we once had; a quote which has been so incredibly relevant since 2001, in so many ways, yet so rarely spoken.


"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."

-- Franklin D. Roosevelt, Inauguaral Address, 1929

I would say you could find absolutely anything with Google -- it's just that the one thing I've ever really needed to find, I couldn't, and can't.

Why I keep looking, I have no idea.

you know who i totally forgot about and suddenly realize i miss to an incredible extent?

miss cleo.

you totally know what i mean.


ALSO I AM 21 IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS.
Although it occurred to me... just because I *CAN* buy alcohol doesn't mean I will always have the funds to do so.
Real life -- the whole paying bills, getting a job, budgeting -- yeah, screw that.

WHEE COLLEGE FOR ANOTHER YEAR!!! And a half, possibly! SUBSIDIZED LIFE VIA PARENTS!!!

so on the one hand we have textbooks, and on the other, we have fountains of booze.

oh man this is hard.