I love this president.

It's like we went from a 14-year-old tercel to a brand new benz.

In other news, my mind has apparently shut off. I raised my hand in my 2:00 class about half a dozen times today, with a distinct thought, and I forgot it immediately. And when I do manage to get some idea out of my head, I can't grasp the words in order to express myself the way I have in the past. It's like my vocabulary was cut in half, and I sound like a retarded kid, but with relevant questions to ask a professor -- just not very eloquently.

It makes me feel like a stroke patient. I've watched my grandfather deteriorate over the years due to small strokes, and seeing this once really regal, vivacious, eloquent man fight to get out a sentence kills me. He knows exactly what he wants to express, but there's a disconnect, and he just can't put it together.

It's getting worse, particularly over the last few months. I get confused and distracted, and I'm still procrastinating and avoiding shit and have zero motivation for most things.

It's been especially odd since school started. I pick up the DTH every day I get on campus, four days a week, and the simplest Sudoku or crossword just kills me. I had to write the numbers in for a level 1 Sudoku the other day, and I just know something's not right. I'm a Sudoku master, I can pop those things out like Pringles. I finish them probably 95% of the time, and I still haven't finished a single one. The crosswords are worse. I know that I know the answer to a clue, or I might have a really strong "sense" of what it is (in that I know it, but I can't find the word), but nothing comes. They end up mostly blank, which is irritating. The Sudoku was always this little challenge I had every day that I'd easily be able to finish, and the crossword gave me the opportunity to flex my vocab and relax a little... and now everything's different.

On top of all this, I'm having problems even typing now. I hit the wrong keys all the time, which is totally out of character for me. I've been typing very quickly and very accurately since I was like, 10.

Overall, I am confused and concerned.

To end on a positive, Mark and I are going to look at a house tomorrow. Which we may *buy*. It feels so empowering, and I'm really, really, way too excited about it. And in that, I got Mark all excited... so hopefully we can keep ourselves in check when we're with the realtor.

2/3 classes got cancelled -- which is good, because after looking outside and deciding I was going to watch the inauguration instead of going to my first class, I eventually decided I shouldn't go out at all. I've also just lost my last contact, yaaaay.

I e-mailed the professor for my 5:00-6:15 class and basically told her that black ice was not my friend... so I'm staying holed away in the bedroom with the space heater today.


BTW, <3 #44!!!

Watching that helicopter fly away with George and Laura Bush made me giddy. It was like it was taking them to another planet...

2-4 inches of snow, cross your fingers

I'm hoping that because tomorrow is also an INCREDIBLY HISTORIC PRESIDENTIAL INAUGURATION maybe, MAYBE that might be enough for UNC to say -- "okay, there are enough compounding factors here to cancel class..."

But that's incredibly unlikely.

We had a light ice storm at the end of my first semester at UNC, and Alyssa and I had to hold on to each other to keep from slipping on the sidewalk and breaking our backs on the way to our exams one day. It was pretty much the closest I've ever come to actually ice-skating.

Ehhh. Reading time.

Sooooo the class average on that huge term paper for that poli sci grad class I just finished was a 62.71.

93 UP IN THIS HO, MUTHA TRUCKAS

Seriously, I feel so good about myself right now (in spite of the whole i-have-a-horrible-cold thing).

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT

EMILY AND I ARE GOING TO SEE BARACK OBAMA IN LIKE 40 HOURS OMFG

edit: this is like, the first time i'm getting out of the house and doing something in.... a very long time. progress?

Everything is going to be okay.

For real.


I've been given a chance to find myself and live my life in a way I've never been able to do before -- and I cannot put into words how fortunate I am.

Here we go.